I was on a trip to Montana with childhood friends on their annual trek to their grandparents’ ancestral home.
At a trailhead, I spotted this mini-guide for bear survival that is a great lesson in information hierarchy. I love it: It has a cute attention-grabbing headline that rhymes: BE BEAR AWARE followed by a clarifying subhead. The information is broken down into three sections:
Avoid Confrontation
Secure Food Items
Carry Bear Spray
I would suggest they change the third subhead, though. While carrying bear spray may be helpful, for any visiting city slickers, it’s probably more important to know not to run.
Here's how I would revise the third subhead and copy:
DO NOT RUN.
Carry bear spray. Move cautiously out of the area.
I would also switch the 2nd and 3rd blocks of copy as I think it’s more important to tell people not to run than to secure their food. (Though if they don’t secure their food, the bears will come, so it is all important.) The edited sign looks like this:
Now for the final edit. I would cut copy length because the shorter the copy, the greater the chance more people will read it.
BE BEAR AWARE
Grizzly & Black Bears May Be Encountered.
AVOID CONFRONTATION
Make noise while walking. Hike in groups if possible. Control your pets.
DO NOT RUN
Carry bear spray. Move cautiously out of the area.
SECURE FOOD ITEMS
Store food & garbage in vehicle or hang in a tree. Keep a clean camp. Pack out garbage.
